How I Deal With My . Cramps

Oh yeah, I’m going there.

As I’m writing this post, I’m getting pre-cramps as we speak. They’re not exactly super painful like the real cramps are, but they’re definitely there and making their presence known. That can only mean one thing (no Drake).

My period is on the way.

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Seriously, it’s no wonder I’ve been feeling melancholy the past few days. It always feels like forever since I had my last period, and yet when it does come around again it just serves as a reminder that time flies….

My cramps can become very unbearable. When they hit, they’re so powerful that sometimes I can’t even get out of my bed. In these times, I don’t wanna deal with anybody or anything, I just wanna go straight to the toilet and back to my bed so I can writhe in pain. When I was in high school, sometimes they got so bad that I had to call my mom to pick me up so I could go home. It was THAT BAD. And forget the freaking period cramps themselves, don’t you just love when the pre-period stuff starts coming in? I sure do…NOT. It’s not red but it’s the next obvious sign that you should bust out a pad or tampon depending on the time of day. Is this period talk making you uncomfortable? It really shouldn’t because periods are a part of womanhood. We all get them or have gotten them in the past; it’s Mother Nature’s cruel invention made to tell us “Hello, you’re not pregnant! See you in 28 days!”

Nothing has changed since then, they’re still pretty bad. I can manage going out for a whole day, but this is just me grinning and bearing it. Of course, I can’t just leave them alone, so these are some key ways I keep them at bay (the rhyming was unintentional):

  1. PAINKILLERS. Aleve, Tylenol, Advil, store-brand, generic brand, whatever you wanna call them or whatever you prefer. They should already be a necessity in your bathroom. I used to take only two ibuprofen and be done for the day, but since 2013 I bumped it up to 4. Two things about that:
    • DO NOT TAKE ALL OF THEM AT ONCE. My suggestion is to take two first. Wait about 10-30 minutes. If the pain hasn’t alleviated or worsens, take two more and consider it done.
    • DO NOT EXCEED 800 MCG. I personally have never done this and I don’t really know what would happen if I did, but I don’t really wanna know. Just don’t do it, okay?
  2. Makeshift laptop heating pad. You probably already use your laptop while you’re lying down anyway. The heat that comes from the bottom of my computer can work wonders when you’re cramping like mad. I should advise that while this has worked for myself and other girls, I sincerely DO NOT recommend doing this in an effort to replace a real heating pad. I’m just too poor to afford one. Try it every once in a while, but don’t make it a regular thing.
  3. Try not to think about it. This probably sounds like a moot idea when all you can think about are the cramps. They’re unavoidable. They want you to feel them. They take you for a weak bitch and try to ruin your day. But that’s where those cramps are sadly mistaken because you are the opposite of a weak bitch. You’re a strong woman who doesn’t take s^*# from ANYBODY, and cramps are nothing new to any of us. Try not to skip out on your day. Take some painkillers and really go about your day as usual. Before you know it, the day’s long gone! You’ll be thinking, “What cramps? I had cramps?”
  4. Yoga. Okay, I will admit I haven’t tried this specific practice out yet. But I have no qualms about this NOT working for your cramps. Yoga works for EVERYTHING: after a long day or week, stomachaches, indigestion, to boost confidence, anxiety reduction, the list is ENDLESS. I’ve been doing yoga since the beginning of this semester and holy moly, it’s a game changer. If you’re not able to attend a class, there is always Youtube (I highly recommend Yoga with Adriene, she’s super funny, personable and so encouraging that you never feel intimidated and you’re always pushed to do your best no matter what level of yoga you’re at, plus she has yoga practices for EVERYTHIIIIIIING)! This is the gist of it, but really I could go on about yoga for hours. In fact, I might just do that in a future blog post…*eyes emoji*

Periods can be the worst. Do I like the cramps, fatigue, mood swings, that pungent smell, and everything else that’s bad about them? No. But do I want to possibly stop having periods now?

Nope!

Surprised? Sure, I’ve thought of what it’d be like to not have a period again. I even thought of getting a hysterectomy so I wouldn’t deal with periods again (but that’s just foolish)! But I actually kinda love getting periods. It’s a true sign of womanhood, and I love the sense of community it brings with other women, hence why I prefer living with other girls. You can’t ask a guy for a tampon.
There will come a time when I stop getting them, and I’ll be satisfied because I won’t have to deal with cramps anymore. But for now, my periods will gladly be here to stay.

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Abeni, out!

P.S. I’m totally now on Facebook and this page is totally under construction (such is my life at the moment).